Recently I was bored of caring about my lack of money so I decided to switch to different ideas and write a letter to a friend asking after her, I asked her about her man too, and well... she replied this:



I’m afraid of arriving home and catching up with all household duties... I guess I’ll find tones of garbage stored in the kitchen, tones of dirty clothes ready for the laundry... And an absolutely empty fridge (of course).

... and I got home. Well, I would happily have done away with myself, but I thought twice and, at last, I decided to do away with him, you know, stop using him as a lover and getting rid of all those ugly and stupid things of him spread away all over my home...

... but... why not doing away with him... literally? Would it be a crime? Would it be possibly against humane or divine laws to do away with such... kind of...

Well, I decided I could use some external help, and I  got on to WUTTTO (Women Up To Their Tits) Organization. After a short summary of the situation, a team of experts began studying my case... After weeks working hard on it, they came up with a solution: We both would get on to local TV with the story. And we did.

We never really looked out for each other. Well, we did it often in the mist of dust and dirt that covered up my appartment since he moved there, but I mean that he just looked out for himself, and so did I. We both put up with, but we didn’t really like each other.

We began to run up against the other’s awful character, personality and behaviour too soon. I was always keeping on at him to sort his garbage away, and he kept on at me about my loud snoring too often, and rudely, by the way. 

Because of his devilish charm, women in TV studios stood up for him. Even WUTTTO members seemed to agree with that monster!

It was extremely frustrating... Who can I get on to now? Mrs. Elena Francis? Mr. Jiménez del Oso? Both are unfortunately dead!

... Well, the local Zen Guru? The local Priest? An exorcist? The Pope, maybe?

Oh, Immigration Office could possibly get on to him! if I am able to demonstrate that he is really an Incubous, and thus a Hell illegal immigrant, instead of the Spanish citizen he pretends... But, how could I possibly prove that?

So, listen to me carefully, my dear, hopeful and innocent little ladies, while you are yet in time, and Watch out for evil hidden under most charming words and attractive smilings!... and watch out for any good-hearted man hidden under a dullest or extremely boring appearance...

I’m talking for experience... Listen to me!  Just watch our for it and them!


(C)2008 - Macarena Rojo González

This evening I asked out my friend Bob, I asked him if he wanted to go out to have fun, may be some beers in a bar. This evening I was alone, as some friends called up my wife and asked her out, they invited her to a party. Bob said yes, he rarely says no to a couple of beers, even if he usually has to pay for them as this month I’m running out of money, so we met in a nearly bar and there we started talking. I asked him after his girlfriend, I wanted to know if she was OK, but he told me he didn’t know as they had split up some weeks ago, they decided to finish their relationship some weeks ago. I felt a bit embarrased as I didn’t know anything about it and I’m not good in comforting people who split up, so I asked after her parents, I asked him if they were healthy and happy. He said they were OK and we started talking about football.

When we have a conversation about football, we use to talk a lot, so soon we were thirsty and we needed more beer. We asked for some beers, we requested some beers in a polite way and, as we were hungry too, we asked for a couple of burguers. Soon we started agueing, as he thought I was cheating when I said I had an autograph from a famous football player. I was decided to prove I wasn’t cheating, so I invited him to my home.

When we arrived, I remembered my living room was in a mess, so I asked him to wait a bit outside my house, I requested him to stay out of my house for a while in a polite way. Asking anybody to stay out of my house may sound rude, but he understood, he uses to have the same kind of problems. When I tidied my living room, I asked him in, I requested him to enter in my house. By the way, I always thought I’d like to be a manager, with a big office, and have a lot of people waiting outside my office waiting to meet me, and, from time to time, ask them in by calling up my secretary, talking with perfect BBC accent: "Please, ask in Mr. Brown, I’d like to talk with him"... oohhh! one day...

Back to reality, my valuable autograph was stored in my basement, so I asked him to wait a bit, I came to my basement, and when everything was ready I asked him down, I asked him to come downstairs. It seems he was drinking all the beer I had in my fridge so I had to ask down my friend a couple of times before he realized I was asking him down.     

Finally, he saw the autograph and he admitted he was wrong and I was right. I came upstairs to prepare some food, and I left him in the basement admiring the autograph. When everything was ready, I asked him up, I asked him to go upstairs, but I had to ask up my friend three times, as he had discovered my reserves of beer in my basement...

It seems my sister in law had called me up, as I found a message waiting for me in my self phone. I called her back and she asked me if I had forgotten my wife’s birthday again. I felt really angry, sometimes I think I’d like to run over her with my new car: I never forget my wife’s birthday! What was she talking about! What a fool woman! Anyway, of course I’m a calm person and I don’t really like violence, so I tried to run away from that conversation by adding in sweet words to our chat and trying to switch to a different kind of talk. Fortunately, after ten minutes, my top-up card ran out of credit so I said goodbye.

And talking about my wife’s birthday, my first idea was to eat out with her. We use to eat in, so I thought going to a good restaurant would be a good idea, and I called up to make a reservation,  but then I thought We’re running up bills this month, We live in an expensive town, so may be paying for a really good restaurant could be too expensive, so I decided to call off the reservation and change my initial plans. It is incredible the big amount of money you have to spend every month: when you add up all bills and taxes, It’s a really amazing amount of money, I’d like to start a revollution tomorrow, I’d like to open a window and call out inflammatory messages to start a big strike or something... but not, well... let’s be realistic, tomorrow I’m just calling in a plumber to repair the pipes at home that were eaten away by the caustic water of this town.

So I think I will prepare a really good dinner, I will call up some of my wife’s friends that promised to call us in soon, and once we eat up everything, I will prepare one of my performances, in which I use to add in some magic, jokes and songs. Yes, I’m an artist, and she and her friends enjoy my performances a lot... and it is cheap too... Ooohh, not again! I have to stop thinking about money, but I can’t stop adding on expenses to my monthly budget, I’d really like to run into one of those managers in charge of our country economy and... and... and... Well, and run away, because I use to get mute when I really need to protest... let’s focus on the dinner.

Yesterday I was cooking. I added in some saffron, I mixed some saffron with the rest of ingredients boiling in the saucepan. Saffron is quite expensive in this country, so I have to add it in with care, if not, I would need to add in a lot of money to my monthly account, I would need to increase my monthly account by adding this subject. When you think about the money you need to live in a town like this, you have to add in expensive things like gas, electricity or rent to your final calculation, and when I add up all the money, when I make the final calculation, I usually end the day adding in some rocks in a glass with whisky to forget it. I add up the bills a lot of times to see I they’re correct, but yes, sadly they are.

Anyway may be it adds up, may be it makes sense, there are a lot of people trying to live in this town, so the relation between people offering things like rents and people demanding them is very tight. Living in this town really adds up, as there are a lot of things to do: theatres, cinemas, museums... but I’m not sure if paying so much money for living here adds up. Well, I suppose yes, I’m living here, but anyway many things in my life don’t add up... I don’t know... Anyhow, Let me say that living here could be reasonable if you just needed to pay for what you consume, but unfortunately you have to add on a lot of taxes to the final addition, you have to add new numbers to your addition due to taxes, and in many places they add on different amounts of money for subjects like parking service or even bread in restaurants, so adding on small amounts for everything ends with a big bill, when you add up everything, it is a scandal.

Yesterday my boss told me that our meeting had to be called off, it had to be cancelled, because he had to travel. As there were more people interested in that meeting, I called up them to inform about our called off meeting, I phoned them to inform it was cancelled.

Anyway I couldn’t call up some people, as I had not their phone numbers or they were not available. Only one of them called back to my phone call, only one of them replied to my phone call. When he called back, I was able to ask him to not come today as the event was called off. About the rest of people, they had no idea about the event cancellation, so this morning they were waiting in the reception, may be ten people, and they were all talking out loud, so I had to call out my message about the cancellation from the stairs, I had to announce it in a loud voice. I called out the cancellation for three times, and finally they all understood my message.

I realized one of them was my dear fellow Andrew, now working five hundred kilometers away from this town. We talked for a bit, he told me they were in troubles with the phone systems in their office, and they had already called in a technician to repair them, they had already asked them for help, but they were working full-time on other tasks so they would need more time to repair their phone line. We talked for a while about the troubles you always find when you call in a technician, a veterinarian, a plumber or even the police, when you ask them for help they always seem to be busy. 

After a brief convesation, he told me he had to go, so I asked him to call in next time he visited my town, I asked him to visit me next time he visited my town, he promised to call in both me and my friend George and we said goodbye.

Yesterday I was tired, so I decided to eat in, I decided to eat at home. I prepared a dinner and I asked my wife if she would eat in with me, if she would eat the dinner with me at home. She said she would and we ate in while watching TV. We were watching a documentary about pollution and the effects of some gases on historical buildings.

It seems some gases like NO2 and NO3 were eating away old stones, those stone structures were beeing destroyed and demolished by the gases. It remainded me of my old house in the countryside, it was made of wood and, one summer I was on vacations, termites ate it away, it almost dissapeared. Rats use to eat away wires too, they destroy electrical networks by eating wires. Some important structures made by humans have been eaten away by animals in the past, now it seems it’s time for human wastes to destroy our buildings...

We ate up our salad, we finished eating our salad, and then I started eating my steak, my wife preferred some seafood. I was hungry, so I ate up in five minutes, I finished eating it in five minutes, but my wife was complaining about her belly so I told her she was gorgeous and I asked her to eat up her prawns, to eat all the prawns.

After our dinner, a cup of coffee, we talked for a while and we decided that we would eat out next Friday, we would go to a restaurant. I like to eat in, but sometimes it is fun eating out, visiting a good restaurant and enjoying different kinds of food. I remember a day I ate out in a chinese restaurant, I had to deal with those strange chopsticks, but at the end I mastered them. I also like eating out in french restaurants.

Anyway, it’s time to go to bed. See you.

Yesterday I was at home, when my mother in law came in suddenly. I can’t stand her, so I ran away, I escaped from her and I went to a bar. Unfortunately, there I found my boss, but I could run away to another bar before he saw me as I don’t like to talk about work on weekends: if I find a way to do it, I prefer to run away from work conversations, I prefer to not deal with that responsibility. I have to say that I’m not a brave man, so I use to run away from responsibilities, I try to avoid  problems. Basically, my life is running away from problems, and sometimes  running away is the easiest way to do it.

I was having some beers, but I ran out of money, I had no more money, so I thought I could call a friend who’s always willing to pay some beers for a good conversation. He came in the bar, and we talked for one hour, but he told me he was running out of time, he had no more time available, he had to leave. Anyway he asked me if I wanted a coffe before leaving. We ordered to coffes, but the waiter told us that he had run out of milk, he had no more milk, so we had two black coffes.

We talked over those cups of black coffe, and my friend told me he was a bit depressed, as he had run over a cat recently, he was driving his car when a cat suddenly walked on the road. He had no time to stop, and he ran over it. I’ve never run over an animal or person, but once, a car ran over me while I was walking, the car hit me and I fell on the ground. The person in the car ran to help me, and I realized he was a famous actor. "What a way to run into a famous actor!" - I thought that day, "What a way to meet him suddenly" . Anyway my friend was happy because he ran into a veterinarian, he appeared there suddenly, when he was trying to help the cat, so they were able to save its life. May be the cat thought that day: "Lucky I ran into both of you". About this, let me just say that I like very much running into old fellows, but I don’t like at all running into a car while I’m driving my own car, I don’t like crashing with another car.

My friend paid for both coffes and some beers, I have to say I’m running up beers with my friend, he always pays for beers, and someday I should do the same, but you know? Things are expensive, and I’m running up bills with my bank, I’m accumulating debts with my bank, and I’d have to find a new job If I wanted to pay for beer, so... I let him pay for the drinks.